Standards

I was actually going to skip an entry today [yea, on purpose just to be a renegade of sorts, lol] but i'm lying down reading some tidbits about rihanna and c-breezy getting back together and i'm suddenly irriated.

Why the hell are we sitting here wonder why men have become or are becoming monsters??? Wondering why it appears they continue to act like asses? Why they don't give a shit about our feeling?? You wanna know why? COS WE FRIGGING LET THEM!! i've been saying for years that men do the things they do cos some woman/women allow(ed) it at some point in their lives. Like what the shagging 'ell?? C-bre is bouncing about with his back-pack on his back, having a fine day out on the water with his jet ski and the Foolish girl is walking by his side face covered with a sweater/hoodie to hide her bruises, Like really??....dem take something swear for us women??? [well, technically its all Eve's fault but...]. Granted i don't know the true story behind their saga but allow me rant jare...i'm going on what we have all heard

Why do we keep lowering our standards? Why do we not demand better for ourselves? Why do we let some of these fools get away with the shit they do to us? Do we somehow think we don't deserve better? Where does that frigging mindset come from?

I am reminded of a segment on Oprah's show a few days ago. Steve Harvey was promoting his new book--Act like a lady, think like a man. He touched on a few points that i took note of:

-“Men always come up to you with a PLAN. They ain’t coming up to you cos they ‘like’ your personality”…[this is why a lot of women think men want something more when they are approached.]. "We Kicking it is NOT a plan"

-“Men will rise up to the occasion/step up to the bar no matter how high women set it IF he really wants you. Problem is, women keep lowering the bar/standards as time goes by.”

-“Women control pretty much everything [he won’t touch/kiss/sex etc you unless you let him]. Keep your standards the way they are and the man for you will adhere to it”

-‘Just like a job that has a probationary 90 day period women should treat their relationships with such an observatory process’ Women stop changing rules…men know there are desperate women out there, they know they can get away with shit. If every women maintained her standard there will be way less trifling men out there.

-“Chivalry isn’t dead. It’s just not required by a lot of women anymore”

The funny thing is the average woman knows this. It's not rocket science...so pray tell me why more women don't demand more? Everywhere you look lately it appears there is a new generation of 'men haters'...LOL!! My sisters are tired!! Everywhere you look there are complaints of these people that we can't live with and can't seem to live without. I think it's about time we spoke out jare. Guess we are the generation that refuses to take their shit and just roll over like our mothers did [no disrespect, cos i know our mamas put up with some stuvvs].

Hopefully we talk AND be about it enough that it begins to affect change in the way these men behave. The sooner we realize we are the ones creating these monsters the sooner WE get our act together. We are much more powerful than we think we are, we need to realize that, embrace it, and act accordingly.

...that's my rant for this 3rd day of March. :D


PS: I didn't sleep a wink last night...here's to hoping i catch some Z's tonight especially since i just popped a sleeping pill [Yea, pill! I have sleep issues...dat's another days yarns]


PPS: Umm, pardon my 'french.' I actually tried to be clean. I had more expletives in my head...lol

**this rant isn't about domestic abuse, necessarily but rather about womens' role as enablers.

*Muah*

Men are...

...stupid/fools/bastards/idiots…and every other expletive you can think up. Lol. I think I have heard a variation of that phrase more times in the last year than I have in my entire life and I’ve been around for a little bit :). So what is the deal? Did men get ‘stupider’ over the last year OR did our BS meter become more sensitive?

I watched a couple of naija movies yesterday [speaking of naija movies, what on earth are these babes *Rita Dominice/Ini Edo/Omotola et al…* eating/drinking/smoking?? They’ve all suddenly gotten rather lepa as in flat stomachs and all…make dem come gbe simi leti bikonu…but I digress] and I swear I must have said one/all of the above phrases at least 50 times that’s in a space of about 5hrs lol. I mean from my own experiences to friends experiences to movies to celebrities to the news to and just life around us there is a resounding conclusion that indeed “Men are ---------”. It is alarmingly sad and disheartening for real...

When I meet with God and we get to sit down and have a chat we will most definitely be chatting about the logic behind his order of creation:
What was his game plan when he decided they will be the head? That they will lead us? Why are we burdened with the responsibility of making it all work while they reel in their stupidity with pride? Why do we have to make more sacrifices? Why are we the ones that have to understand and forgiving as to why they cheat? Why are we the ones that have to wait around until they get their heads out their asses and decide they are now serious? Why are there 15 women to 5 men? Why are they quick to label us as 'emotionally unstable' than try to understand what we might be going through? Why do they have it easier? When it’s all said and done the man gets off wayyyyyyyy easier than any woman does. It is indeed a Man's world *sigh*

I won't bother going into the stories i've heard or the ones i have encountered myself...i'd be writing for days if i did...Trust me!!

Putting it all in perspective tho’…what is a woman to do? This is the hand that we have been dealt... “can’t live with them, can’t live without them”. It won’t make any sense to harden ones heart to the foolishness of men especially if one would like to settle down one day. I was thinking to myself yesterday that I need to quit saying anyone of those phrases so much [and trust me, i've been saying it ALOT lately] cos that is how the mind becomes conditioned. I don’t see how I will respect any man as the head of my household if I secretly think he is stupid. So I really need to quit with the slogans…they make it sooo hard tho’…God help me.

So we are to do what we do best. Be the best ‘neck’ we can be. Be the patient, understanding, rational, forgiving, ‘sensible’, loving…etc etc etc God has called us to be…his Grace will see us through. May we all be matched with the one whose BS we can withstand and vice versa.


PS: I do understand that we have our own issues too but that’s for another day :)



*Muah*