What do you bring to the table?

We hear this question all the time right? I’m inclined to think it is women that ask this question the most. Do men ask? Well I want to ask…Woman, What do you bring to the table? Women are quick to list everything they are looking for in a man…a grocery list of sorts but do women stop to ask what THEY [themselves] bring to the table? I’m just asking oh…do we? Not answers like “well, myself, what else?” but answers like the ones we expect these men to give us. I was watching a follow-up of Steve Harvey’s interview on Oprah and he kinda touched on this point.

This one lady had a LONG list of what she wants in a man…the heffa even had ‘millionaire’ on the list LMAO…imagine oh? This woman musta had about 30+ things on her list…it’s beans? At the end of the list the man said “Yea, you want the Lord.”
This other woman had on her list that she wants a man that will bring her to orgasm ALL the time orally and vaginally...it’s moi-moi? He asked her if she is sure SHE can bring a man to orgasm orally and otherwise…all the time [*raise eye-brow*]? What if that’s what he has on his list?

Men are expected to joke, be entertaining, and be a good dance partner and a great listener etc etc how many women are all these things? I understand wanting all these things…I really do. I also understand the “opposites attract” clause and wanting someone who is different from us.

This is just admonishing women [if you don’t or haven’t] to think about it just a little, for no one but yourself. I know we are all great women and we are super women and any man will be lucky to have us ;). I digress...

Have u ever gone on a date with a dude and you thought things when well but then he blows you off and you begin to wonder why? This one lady talked about how she had gone on 3 dates with a guy and he ended up blowing her off. She was over it but was wondering why men do that and if she had done anything wrong.
His response: “Men don’t do closure. You know why? Cos they don’t even know the women have an issue.” He told her to move on and leave it alone. Maybe she wasn’t something on his ‘list’ [this was a tongue-in-cheek remark lol]. He probably isn’t thinking about her so she should stop thinking about him. Lol, this one was funny but isn't it ture how we tend to obsess about some random individual even though we were not really interested but just cos he wasnt lapping after us we begin to wonder? He just wasn't into you...and that's fine!!!

He reiterated the 3 things men must have… “If anyone of those three things is missing he just might go get it from somewhere else.” [I had blogged a little about his previous interview here]

Buahaha this one chic said she’s waiting till she gets married to have sex cos of religious beliefs but was asking if heavy petting and oral sex fell under the ’90 day rule.’ After the audience shushed down from laughter, Steve asked what religious beliefs will allow you do EVERYTHING except intercourse? lol.
So, my Christian sisters, this one is for u’all—What’s up with claiming celibacy for religious reason and feeling it’s okay to do everything except sex? As with everything else that has to do with relationships, does celibacy have different definitions? Is it open for interpretation? *ahem* I’m not casting any stones here oh…I just dey ask *ahem* lol. I just read this morning on Vera’s blog about this same kissing and oral sex kinikan…the universe is speaking to you all oh, he who has ears let him hear lol. BTW I said Christians cos some are celibate for other reasons besides religion.

He talked about 5 questions every woman should ask soon after they meet/start dating a man. I’m kinda err about the questions cos really who stipulates timelines? Then there are all these definitions about the meaning of “talking vs dating”
Questions:
What are his short term goals?
What are his long term goals? These two must have different responses. If they don’t then he really doesn’t have a plan…remember every man has a plan
What are his views on different relationships…with his mama, with God etc etc
What he thinks about you? The response is usually…you’re smart, you’re funny etc etc etc [err when do you ask this one oh?]
How does he feel about you? A man that is serious should have an answer for that and it should be different from the previous one. [again when do you ask this one oh? ]

He said no woman can “run” any man off. If he runs off he wasn’t supposed to be there in the first place.

Hmmmmmmm

…It was a rather funny hour so I figured I’d share. What you all think?

PS: I had some randoms sha...guess i'll leave 'em for another day :)

*Muah*

Standards

I was actually going to skip an entry today [yea, on purpose just to be a renegade of sorts, lol] but i'm lying down reading some tidbits about rihanna and c-breezy getting back together and i'm suddenly irriated.

Why the hell are we sitting here wonder why men have become or are becoming monsters??? Wondering why it appears they continue to act like asses? Why they don't give a shit about our feeling?? You wanna know why? COS WE FRIGGING LET THEM!! i've been saying for years that men do the things they do cos some woman/women allow(ed) it at some point in their lives. Like what the shagging 'ell?? C-bre is bouncing about with his back-pack on his back, having a fine day out on the water with his jet ski and the Foolish girl is walking by his side face covered with a sweater/hoodie to hide her bruises, Like really??....dem take something swear for us women??? [well, technically its all Eve's fault but...]. Granted i don't know the true story behind their saga but allow me rant jare...i'm going on what we have all heard

Why do we keep lowering our standards? Why do we not demand better for ourselves? Why do we let some of these fools get away with the shit they do to us? Do we somehow think we don't deserve better? Where does that frigging mindset come from?

I am reminded of a segment on Oprah's show a few days ago. Steve Harvey was promoting his new book--Act like a lady, think like a man. He touched on a few points that i took note of:

-“Men always come up to you with a PLAN. They ain’t coming up to you cos they ‘like’ your personality”…[this is why a lot of women think men want something more when they are approached.]. "We Kicking it is NOT a plan"

-“Men will rise up to the occasion/step up to the bar no matter how high women set it IF he really wants you. Problem is, women keep lowering the bar/standards as time goes by.”

-“Women control pretty much everything [he won’t touch/kiss/sex etc you unless you let him]. Keep your standards the way they are and the man for you will adhere to it”

-‘Just like a job that has a probationary 90 day period women should treat their relationships with such an observatory process’ Women stop changing rules…men know there are desperate women out there, they know they can get away with shit. If every women maintained her standard there will be way less trifling men out there.

-“Chivalry isn’t dead. It’s just not required by a lot of women anymore”

The funny thing is the average woman knows this. It's not rocket science...so pray tell me why more women don't demand more? Everywhere you look lately it appears there is a new generation of 'men haters'...LOL!! My sisters are tired!! Everywhere you look there are complaints of these people that we can't live with and can't seem to live without. I think it's about time we spoke out jare. Guess we are the generation that refuses to take their shit and just roll over like our mothers did [no disrespect, cos i know our mamas put up with some stuvvs].

Hopefully we talk AND be about it enough that it begins to affect change in the way these men behave. The sooner we realize we are the ones creating these monsters the sooner WE get our act together. We are much more powerful than we think we are, we need to realize that, embrace it, and act accordingly.

...that's my rant for this 3rd day of March. :D


PS: I didn't sleep a wink last night...here's to hoping i catch some Z's tonight especially since i just popped a sleeping pill [Yea, pill! I have sleep issues...dat's another days yarns]


PPS: Umm, pardon my 'french.' I actually tried to be clean. I had more expletives in my head...lol

**this rant isn't about domestic abuse, necessarily but rather about womens' role as enablers.

*Muah*