We hear this question all the time right? I’m inclined to think it is women that ask this question the most. Do men ask? Well I want to ask…Woman, What do you bring to the table? Women are quick to list everything they are looking for in a man…a grocery list of sorts but do women stop to ask what THEY [themselves] bring to the table? I’m just asking oh…do we? Not answers like “well, myself, what else?” but answers like the ones we expect these men to give us. I was watching a follow-up of Steve Harvey’s interview on Oprah and he kinda touched on this point.
This one lady had a LONG list of what she wants in a man…the heffa even had ‘millionaire’ on the list LMAO…imagine oh? This woman musta had about 30+ things on her list…it’s beans? At the end of the list the man said “Yea, you want the Lord.”
This other woman had on her list that she wants a man that will bring her to orgasm ALL the time orally and vaginally...it’s moi-moi? He asked her if she is sure SHE can bring a man to orgasm orally and otherwise…all the time [*raise eye-brow*]? What if that’s what he has on his list?
Men are expected to joke, be entertaining, and be a good dance partner and a great listener etc etc how many women are all these things? I understand wanting all these things…I really do. I also understand the “opposites attract” clause and wanting someone who is different from us.
This is just admonishing women [if you don’t or haven’t] to think about it just a little, for no one but yourself. I know we are all great women and we are super women and any man will be lucky to have us ;). I digress...
Have u ever gone on a date with a dude and you thought things when well but then he blows you off and you begin to wonder why? This one lady talked about how she had gone on 3 dates with a guy and he ended up blowing her off. She was over it but was wondering why men do that and if she had done anything wrong.
His response: “Men don’t do closure. You know why? Cos they don’t even know the women have an issue.” He told her to move on and leave it alone. Maybe she wasn’t something on his ‘list’ [this was a tongue-in-cheek remark lol]. He probably isn’t thinking about her so she should stop thinking about him. Lol, this one was funny but isn't it ture how we tend to obsess about some random individual even though we were not really interested but just cos he wasnt lapping after us we begin to wonder? He just wasn't into you...and that's fine!!!
He reiterated the 3 things men must have… “If anyone of those three things is missing he just might go get it from somewhere else.” [I had blogged a little about his previous interview here]
Buahaha this one chic said she’s waiting till she gets married to have sex cos of religious beliefs but was asking if heavy petting and oral sex fell under the ’90 day rule.’ After the audience shushed down from laughter, Steve asked what religious beliefs will allow you do EVERYTHING except intercourse? lol.
So, my Christian sisters, this one is for u’all—What’s up with claiming celibacy for religious reason and feeling it’s okay to do everything except sex? As with everything else that has to do with relationships, does celibacy have different definitions? Is it open for interpretation? *ahem* I’m not casting any stones here oh…I just dey ask *ahem* lol. I just read this morning on Vera’s blog about this same kissing and oral sex kinikan…the universe is speaking to you all oh, he who has ears let him hear lol. BTW I said Christians cos some are celibate for other reasons besides religion.
He talked about 5 questions every woman should ask soon after they meet/start dating a man. I’m kinda err about the questions cos really who stipulates timelines? Then there are all these definitions about the meaning of “talking vs dating”
Questions:
What are his short term goals?
What are his long term goals? These two must have different responses. If they don’t then he really doesn’t have a plan…remember every man has a plan
What are his views on different relationships…with his mama, with God etc etc
What he thinks about you? The response is usually…you’re smart, you’re funny etc etc etc [err when do you ask this one oh?]
How does he feel about you? A man that is serious should have an answer for that and it should be different from the previous one. [again when do you ask this one oh? ]
He said no woman can “run” any man off. If he runs off he wasn’t supposed to be there in the first place.
Hmmmmmmm
…It was a rather funny hour so I figured I’d share. What you all think?
PS: I had some randoms sha...guess i'll leave 'em for another day :)
*Muah*
12 comments:
lol @This other woman had on her list that she wants a man that will bring her to orgasm ALL the time orally and vaginally...it’s moi-moi? Na moi-moi to them. good topic
I akso got to watch all of Steve's interviews and I guess ladies do want a lot sometimes but someone once siad that ladies just wanna be loved and not understood,and same goes for guys as well...
P.S: forgive ma errors,kind of in a rush here...
LOL...
Interesting.
We all want a guy who is 'all that' but we also need to package ourselves well to be able to attract him.
I liked Steve's book and I enjoyed reading it immensely, but some of the things he wrote could be attributed more to the african american society then in our naija society.
knowing what you are bringing to the table is a good way to up your self confidence in the relationship. I always advise the two to compare notes...what you want vs what the other partner want.
I think ladies should be able to ask themselves their own short and long term goals. In addition to that, I always wanna have the guy answer what makes him different from the rest of the wootang clan.....you will be surprised that not every body can answer what differentiates them
Pretty interesting stuff. That is food for thought sha, what do I bring to the table?
I mean, I've never had some ridiculous list and most of what I'm looking for in a man has to do with his character as opposed to superficial, material steez. I think I can match whatever I ask for.
Hmmm hmmm hmmm. Nice post sha.
BSNC:…I cracked up real hard for real…like seriously?
My World: Tru! Tru—we’re all in the cycle of trying to understand our different languages.
Aphrodite: Amen to that oh…some of us do be forgetting...
Naijagirl: U’ve read the book? Cool. I haven’t gotten around to it yet. Yea, its expected that he speaks on that which he knows…AA society. I agree with you as per the self confidence statement. When you know who you are and what you have to offer you don’t let pple dictate what is or should be.
lol@ what makes you stand out…I don’t know about that question oh. A good talker can come up with all sorts.
Original Mgbeke: Yea, I think ‘we’ [lol] reasonable pple are realistic enough to know that what we ask for we should at least be able to offer or know why we want them. We just don’t think about it often. Thanks :)
To the first timers--Thanks for stopping by.
This got me thinking bout what am bringing to the table…I always tink about it the other way round
Food for thought..we ladies cud be somewhat selfish sometimes..
Thanks for sharing this and for stopping by Chari's and mine!
:D
Hmmm.. Longish post..
Things the Roc does.. tut tut.. lol..
So her only quest was the big O orally and vaginally..? Good point Steve made..
In the words of JFK.. "Ask not what your man can do for you.."
@BC: Yep, we sure can. Thanks for stopping by too.
lol@Roc. Nah...that was one of the plenty things she had on her list oh...delusions! Thanks for coming thru.
...very fascinating questions.
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