We hear this question all the time right? I’m inclined to think it is women that ask this question the most. Do men ask? Well I want to ask…Woman, What do you bring to the table? Women are quick to list everything they are looking for in a man…a grocery list of sorts but do women stop to ask what THEY [themselves] bring to the table? I’m just asking oh…do we? Not answers like “well, myself, what else?” but answers like the ones we expect these men to give us. I was watching a follow-up of Steve Harvey’s interview on Oprah and he kinda touched on this point.
This one lady had a LONG list of what she wants in a man…the heffa even had ‘millionaire’ on the list LMAO…imagine oh? This woman musta had about 30+ things on her list…it’s beans? At the end of the list the man said “Yea, you want the Lord.”
This other woman had on her list that she wants a man that will bring her to orgasm ALL the time orally and vaginally...it’s moi-moi? He asked her if she is sure SHE can bring a man to orgasm orally and otherwise…all the time [*raise eye-brow*]? What if that’s what he has on his list?
Men are expected to joke, be entertaining, and be a good dance partner and a great listener etc etc how many women are all these things? I understand wanting all these things…I really do. I also understand the “opposites attract” clause and wanting someone who is different from us.
This is just admonishing women [if you don’t or haven’t] to think about it just a little, for no one but yourself. I know we are all great women and we are super women and any man will be lucky to have us ;). I digress...
Have u ever gone on a date with a dude and you thought things when well but then he blows you off and you begin to wonder why? This one lady talked about how she had gone on 3 dates with a guy and he ended up blowing her off. She was over it but was wondering why men do that and if she had done anything wrong.
His response: “Men don’t do closure. You know why? Cos they don’t even know the women have an issue.” He told her to move on and leave it alone. Maybe she wasn’t something on his ‘list’ [this was a tongue-in-cheek remark lol]. He probably isn’t thinking about her so she should stop thinking about him. Lol, this one was funny but isn't it ture how we tend to obsess about some random individual even though we were not really interested but just cos he wasnt lapping after us we begin to wonder? He just wasn't into you...and that's fine!!!
He reiterated the 3 things men must have… “If anyone of those three things is missing he just might go get it from somewhere else.” [I had blogged a little about his previous interview here]
Buahaha this one chic said she’s waiting till she gets married to have sex cos of religious beliefs but was asking if heavy petting and oral sex fell under the ’90 day rule.’ After the audience shushed down from laughter, Steve asked what religious beliefs will allow you do EVERYTHING except intercourse? lol.
So, my Christian sisters, this one is for u’all—What’s up with claiming celibacy for religious reason and feeling it’s okay to do everything except sex? As with everything else that has to do with relationships, does celibacy have different definitions? Is it open for interpretation? *ahem* I’m not casting any stones here oh…I just dey ask *ahem* lol. I just read this morning on Vera’s blog about this same kissing and oral sex kinikan…the universe is speaking to you all oh, he who has ears let him hear lol. BTW I said Christians cos some are celibate for other reasons besides religion.
He talked about 5 questions every woman should ask soon after they meet/start dating a man. I’m kinda err about the questions cos really who stipulates timelines? Then there are all these definitions about the meaning of “talking vs dating”
Questions:
What are his short term goals?
What are his long term goals? These two must have different responses. If they don’t then he really doesn’t have a plan…remember every man has a plan
What are his views on different relationships…with his mama, with God etc etc
What he thinks about you? The response is usually…you’re smart, you’re funny etc etc etc [err when do you ask this one oh?]
How does he feel about you? A man that is serious should have an answer for that and it should be different from the previous one. [again when do you ask this one oh? ]
He said no woman can “run” any man off. If he runs off he wasn’t supposed to be there in the first place.
Hmmmmmmm
…It was a rather funny hour so I figured I’d share. What you all think?
PS: I had some randoms sha...guess i'll leave 'em for another day :)
*Muah*
Showing posts with label Expectations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Expectations. Show all posts
Monday, March 23, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
"Make yourself available"
…if I hear that phrase one more again I will not be responsible for what I do. I had a discussion with a few ladies one day over the weekend and as always the conversation flowed to relationships/men/women/singlehood and one of the ladies go “ah, my dears, you just have to make yourselves available”
What exactly does that mean? Outside of standing on a street corner with a placard that reads “Single: Apply within—Must be tall, dark, and handsome. A christian and oh must come with a phat bank account” what else is a single chic to do? I’m not as outgoing at the most outgoing babe but i'm not the biggest home buddy either. I can bum at home at much as the next guy but I can also get down and shake my groove thing like the next babe. Point is I’ve had my share of ‘trips’…heck in the last 2 years alone I’ve probably been to 30 wedding [lol…that may or may not be exaggerated]. I hang out when the call is made. I’m usually down for a trip out of town somewhere when it’s called for. Betti all these things get old especially if you’re doing them with the same ole people…sooner or later even the best adventures can become norm if you do them with the same people.
I just have a gripe with that statement sha…I hear it a lot [and I’m sure they mean well betti…] like it’s somehow a single woman’s fault that she isn’t being asked out or isn’t dating [I agree that its not black and white and she might have some hand in it betti…]. A woman can only do what she can do. Work/church/get together/weddings/events etc…what else? Just yesterday, I had a friend allude to the fact that I’m probably just being a ‘tough cookie’ that he knows me very well and that must be it. LOL…I couldn’t do anything but laugh...Boya ni bobo mo!
On a not so related note: I was talking to another friend who just got out of a relationship and has been dealing it whether or not to get back with the dude. She said “I know I don’t have esteem issues…matter fact I’m quick to tell anyone who cares to listen that I’m the best thing since sliced bread. So why am I having a hard time parking this and moving along? Why am I entertaining this BS?” Hmmm. We concluded that its life/society and reality of situations. We hear all the time that if you’ve been in 10 relationships the common denominator is you so check yourself. Yes, you might be the best thing since sliced bread but the reality is you have to look or begin to question the way you are or have been because society dictates things to be a certain way. We begin to question if we are traditional enough, too independent, etc and we begin to do thing different while rationalizing away our actions. I think it’s great to be reflective and learn from past mistakes and try to be a better person, I do. What shouldn’t happen is doing so such that you begin to lose who you are. With this friend, at some point in the relationship I was going to have a conversation with her to ask if she felt she was still herself cos she would say and do somethings and I would think “huh? This ain’t you yo!”……ah well. God help us all. We have questions to which we have no answers. Live and Learn.
On yet another not so related note: I just heard some dude got engaged. Yay! Good for him. To his girlfriend of ~4months. They [him and this chic i know (now his ex)--not sure who did] just finally ended things towards the end of last year. They were engaged and had been with on and off for about 3/4 years. All i can say is Dang!! I can't imagine how the ex feels.
On a completely different note: Talked to some recruiter today. He had a job that looked like a fit [paywise and even ecouraged candidates from my company and its kind] but upon talking to him it appears the 'employer' is looking for that one particular skill? [i guess you'd call it that even tho i don't see why that can't be winged] that i don't have. He then went on to say that companies are being picky now cos they know there are tons of people out there looking for jobs...and it just hit me sha...like this might not be as easy as i'm subconciously taking it oh. Reminds me of when i first graduated college...twas right when the IT world went burst and a lot of seasoned people were out of jobs. Job search for a rookie like me back then was hell...ahhh chittt not again!!! :(
I love this song--Blaze by M.I [I’d embed the song if I knew how…can’t be bothered to find out tho' :p]
[Takes long drag]
Put ya lighters in the airrrrrrrrrrr ohhhhhhhhhh
Put ya lighters in the airrrrrrrrrrr ohhhhhhhhhhh
~~~
You know me now, normally I don’t…
Pass me that...usually I won’t
Too much stress so tonight I gotta...
Just gimme the…
Roll it, light it, puff it, pass it…
[/exhales]
**here goes nothing...
*Muah*
What exactly does that mean? Outside of standing on a street corner with a placard that reads “Single: Apply within—Must be tall, dark, and handsome. A christian and oh must come with a phat bank account” what else is a single chic to do? I’m not as outgoing at the most outgoing babe but i'm not the biggest home buddy either. I can bum at home at much as the next guy but I can also get down and shake my groove thing like the next babe. Point is I’ve had my share of ‘trips’…heck in the last 2 years alone I’ve probably been to 30 wedding [lol…that may or may not be exaggerated]. I hang out when the call is made. I’m usually down for a trip out of town somewhere when it’s called for. Betti all these things get old especially if you’re doing them with the same ole people…sooner or later even the best adventures can become norm if you do them with the same people.
I just have a gripe with that statement sha…I hear it a lot [and I’m sure they mean well betti…] like it’s somehow a single woman’s fault that she isn’t being asked out or isn’t dating [I agree that its not black and white and she might have some hand in it betti…]. A woman can only do what she can do. Work/church/get together/weddings/events etc…what else? Just yesterday, I had a friend allude to the fact that I’m probably just being a ‘tough cookie’ that he knows me very well and that must be it. LOL…I couldn’t do anything but laugh...Boya ni bobo mo!
On a not so related note: I was talking to another friend who just got out of a relationship and has been dealing it whether or not to get back with the dude. She said “I know I don’t have esteem issues…matter fact I’m quick to tell anyone who cares to listen that I’m the best thing since sliced bread. So why am I having a hard time parking this and moving along? Why am I entertaining this BS?” Hmmm. We concluded that its life/society and reality of situations. We hear all the time that if you’ve been in 10 relationships the common denominator is you so check yourself. Yes, you might be the best thing since sliced bread but the reality is you have to look or begin to question the way you are or have been because society dictates things to be a certain way. We begin to question if we are traditional enough, too independent, etc and we begin to do thing different while rationalizing away our actions. I think it’s great to be reflective and learn from past mistakes and try to be a better person, I do. What shouldn’t happen is doing so such that you begin to lose who you are. With this friend, at some point in the relationship I was going to have a conversation with her to ask if she felt she was still herself cos she would say and do somethings and I would think “huh? This ain’t you yo!”……ah well. God help us all. We have questions to which we have no answers. Live and Learn.
On yet another not so related note: I just heard some dude got engaged. Yay! Good for him. To his girlfriend of ~4months. They [him and this chic i know (now his ex)--not sure who did] just finally ended things towards the end of last year. They were engaged and had been with on and off for about 3/4 years. All i can say is Dang!! I can't imagine how the ex feels.
On a completely different note: Talked to some recruiter today. He had a job that looked like a fit [paywise and even ecouraged candidates from my company and its kind] but upon talking to him it appears the 'employer' is looking for that one particular skill? [i guess you'd call it that even tho i don't see why that can't be winged] that i don't have. He then went on to say that companies are being picky now cos they know there are tons of people out there looking for jobs...and it just hit me sha...like this might not be as easy as i'm subconciously taking it oh. Reminds me of when i first graduated college...twas right when the IT world went burst and a lot of seasoned people were out of jobs. Job search for a rookie like me back then was hell...ahhh chittt not again!!! :(
I love this song--Blaze by M.I [I’d embed the song if I knew how…can’t be bothered to find out tho' :p]
[Takes long drag]
Put ya lighters in the airrrrrrrrrrr ohhhhhhhhhh
Put ya lighters in the airrrrrrrrrrr ohhhhhhhhhhh
~~~
You know me now, normally I don’t…
Pass me that...usually I won’t
Too much stress so tonight I gotta...
Just gimme the…
Roll it, light it, puff it, pass it…
[/exhales]
**here goes nothing...
*Muah*
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