…if I hear that phrase one more again I will not be responsible for what I do. I had a discussion with a few ladies one day over the weekend and as always the conversation flowed to relationships/men/women/singlehood and one of the ladies go “ah, my dears, you just have to make yourselves available”
What exactly does that mean? Outside of standing on a street corner with a placard that reads “Single: Apply within—Must be tall, dark, and handsome. A christian and oh must come with a phat bank account” what else is a single chic to do? I’m not as outgoing at the most outgoing babe but i'm not the biggest home buddy either. I can bum at home at much as the next guy but I can also get down and shake my groove thing like the next babe. Point is I’ve had my share of ‘trips’…heck in the last 2 years alone I’ve probably been to 30 wedding [lol…that may or may not be exaggerated]. I hang out when the call is made. I’m usually down for a trip out of town somewhere when it’s called for. Betti all these things get old especially if you’re doing them with the same ole people…sooner or later even the best adventures can become norm if you do them with the same people.
I just have a gripe with that statement sha…I hear it a lot [and I’m sure they mean well betti…] like it’s somehow a single woman’s fault that she isn’t being asked out or isn’t dating [I agree that its not black and white and she might have some hand in it betti…]. A woman can only do what she can do. Work/church/get together/weddings/events etc…what else? Just yesterday, I had a friend allude to the fact that I’m probably just being a ‘tough cookie’ that he knows me very well and that must be it. LOL…I couldn’t do anything but laugh...Boya ni bobo mo!
On a not so related note: I was talking to another friend who just got out of a relationship and has been dealing it whether or not to get back with the dude. She said “I know I don’t have esteem issues…matter fact I’m quick to tell anyone who cares to listen that I’m the best thing since sliced bread. So why am I having a hard time parking this and moving along? Why am I entertaining this BS?” Hmmm. We concluded that its life/society and reality of situations. We hear all the time that if you’ve been in 10 relationships the common denominator is you so check yourself. Yes, you might be the best thing since sliced bread but the reality is you have to look or begin to question the way you are or have been because society dictates things to be a certain way. We begin to question if we are traditional enough, too independent, etc and we begin to do thing different while rationalizing away our actions. I think it’s great to be reflective and learn from past mistakes and try to be a better person, I do. What shouldn’t happen is doing so such that you begin to lose who you are. With this friend, at some point in the relationship I was going to have a conversation with her to ask if she felt she was still herself cos she would say and do somethings and I would think “huh? This ain’t you yo!”……ah well. God help us all. We have questions to which we have no answers. Live and Learn.
On yet another not so related note: I just heard some dude got engaged. Yay! Good for him. To his girlfriend of ~4months. They [him and this chic i know (now his ex)--not sure who did] just finally ended things towards the end of last year. They were engaged and had been with on and off for about 3/4 years. All i can say is Dang!! I can't imagine how the ex feels.
On a completely different note: Talked to some recruiter today. He had a job that looked like a fit [paywise and even ecouraged candidates from my company and its kind] but upon talking to him it appears the 'employer' is looking for that one particular skill? [i guess you'd call it that even tho i don't see why that can't be winged] that i don't have. He then went on to say that companies are being picky now cos they know there are tons of people out there looking for jobs...and it just hit me sha...like this might not be as easy as i'm subconciously taking it oh. Reminds me of when i first graduated college...twas right when the IT world went burst and a lot of seasoned people were out of jobs. Job search for a rookie like me back then was hell...ahhh chittt not again!!! :(
I love this song--Blaze by M.I [I’d embed the song if I knew how…can’t be bothered to find out tho' :p]
[Takes long drag]
Put ya lighters in the airrrrrrrrrrr ohhhhhhhhhh
Put ya lighters in the airrrrrrrrrrr ohhhhhhhhhhh
~~~
You know me now, normally I don’t…
Pass me that...usually I won’t
Too much stress so tonight I gotta...
Just gimme the…
Roll it, light it, puff it, pass it…
[/exhales]
**here goes nothing...
*Muah*
3 comments:
Tell me about it! That make yourself available statement is sooo yeye. I'm out there on the scene partying, going to weddings, fashion show this and that and I never see any new dudes o. I think I make myself as available as possible.
Aniwoos my sister, at this point I no dey even send that side. Make my mama talk all she wants to talk...if he comes, he comes. If not, life goes on.
I'm glad i'm not the only one oh. The tin don taya me...
After all is said and done, someone always comes along. However, we should never compromise our standards and the values we want in the other. Especially with the way divorce is being brandished these days as if there is a prize for it.
One other thing i just learnt, rather than dwell on the things we like (or seemingly love) in the other, we should access the things we like not and (truly) ask ourselves, can i live with this (for the rest of my life)?
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