...Master Key

What is Prayer and Why do you Pray?

...simply put it's to commune with God...yes? Okay, so what do you do when you 'feel' like your prayer sessions are solloquies of sorts? You're alone and speaking to God but you're the only one doing the talking. That defeats the purpose of 'communing', doesn't it?

God has/is always been [okay lot of times not always] on my mind…even when I don’t feel like I'm in-tune with him, he's on my mind albeit at the back of it [like now]. When I do feel like I'm at my best-- I'm worshipping, having my quiet time, thinking good positive thoughts, believing everything will be alright, and just being a 'good 'ole Christian girl' . That’s because I’m a ‘doing’ Christian…when I'm not DOING 'Christian things' I feel guilty cos I'm not being "all I can be" and i'm disappointing him somehow.
Well, i haven't been 'doing' for a long time now so obviously, I've carried the 'I'm such a loser/failure' feeling around...Now, I’m just disconnected!

I’m not being nor am I doing…I’m just disconnected from God. And what’s scary is I don’t feel like I have the energy or know what I need to do to get back to where I need to be…which leads me to Prayer! A topic that has been on my mind for quite a while now


[for those who believe] God is all knowing. The all seeing. He is the beginning and the end. So therefore, whatever you are praying for he already knows…are we in agreement? Yes? Ok!

Bible says “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”- Phil 4:6. So we are admonished to present our requests and whatnot to God. For those of you asking for specific things and you have not gotten the answers…how often do you take those things to God in prayer? I ask about specifics cos i'm sure everyone has generic prayers they pray...grace/protection/favor/peace/etc etc

My question then is: doesn’t all that become repetitious and redundant? I mean he's the all knowing and all seeing so what am I going on about that he doesn't already know and see? As far as repetitions go...I can say my dad's prayer off the top of my head cos he pretty much says the same thing every time he prays. Bible also says "And when you are praying, do not use meaningless repetition as the Gentiles do, for they suppose that they will be heard for their many words”- Matt 6:7. Is there a different meaning to this?...bible scholars lemme know.


It all began when going to church started to feel like a chore. I would go to fufil all righteousness. Then I stopped going and would web-in aka go to church on my bed but even then there was still a disconnect...like I’m listening to a seemingly good sermon and nothing is hitting home for me. It’s gotten so bad that sometimes I stop listening to a sermon half way cos it’s depressing and not in a ‘oh my, that spoke to my heart I need to change’ way but in a ‘yea yea, I’ve heard it all before and nothing’s changed’ way. Sad huh?

Actually, maybe it started when I started to struggle with this prayer thing. I started thinking about the WHY's of praying. Like I said before…God is God. He knows, he sees, he will do what he will do, when he will do it, and how he will do it regardless of what I do or say so, WHY pray? Now, there are A LOT of things that have happened in my life that I didn't pray about or even think to pray about and they just happened and I will be eternally grateful.

On the flip side…I can honestly say last year was NOT a great one for me at all. There were things I just didn't understand…things I took for granted will always be there suddenly weren't. As I have been taught to do…I prayed and prayed but got nothing. Okay so maybe I was impatient, after all it was just one bad year, ey? Aiight, let’s move on…there's been a [just to name one]constant struggle/prayer about my life's purpose and gifting and talents and furthering of his work with them. I've asked and prayed and read all types of material over the years to help narrow down what it might be that the good Lord would have me do or why i am on this earth [i.e. aside from the sleep/eat/shit/work/etc cycle] and I come up with nothing. This is a good wholesome prayer, no? As in I’m not asking for riches or fame…I’m asking to be used in the way that will please and honor him, still I've got nothing…is that supposed to be a testament to me that prayer is important and he hears and will answer? No! It's frustrating and confusing.

So again…what is the point praying when God knows what he is going to do and that's what is going to happen anyways? Good or Bad…it's going to happen God's way and we're going to have to live with it.
We often hear "God's time is best" "God's will be done" "He knows our end from our beginning" and on and on…so why pray? There are Soooooooooo many times that I've prayed about something(s) in particular and it doesn't happen WHEN or HOW I said I needed it to… it ALWAYS happens when it will, IF at all. And when/if it does happen [lately] my thinking is "it happened cos God wanted it to NOT cos I prayed and wanted it to" .......so why Pray?

I'm really just asking. I'm not writing from a place of anger oh...it's more like a "God's Will [will] be done" resolve. I’m saying that God in his Sovereignty rules!! ...and nothing i do will change anything. Yes, Yes, there are stories in the bible where man prayed and changed the hand of God. It hasn't been my experience. I'm not saying i don't pray at all, I do give thanks…thanks for being alive and for keeping me and forgiving me etc. When i do beyond that my "God's Will will be done" resolve kicks in.

Oddly enough, I will gladly pray for others and believe that those prayers will come through/true for them but I just have a harder time praying and believing for myself. Obviously, this does absolutely nothing for ones confidence as a Christian/human cos ultimately we know God is not the problem so guess who?

I wasn't raised to question God or the bible even though there are things that don't add up, I try not to dwell on it. God's word is God's word and it is supposed to be believed in its entirety...lately, I just don't know. Especially with all these pastors feeding us what they think the word means and should mean. I'm not saying I don't believe anymore nor am I abandoning my faith…I'm just saying everything has become redundant. I've lost my fire [been lost it really] and I have no idea where or how to get it back.

As my Christian folks will say "It is Well" :)

2010 is pretty much over…I expect to read a lot of ‘2010 in review’ posts so you all get to it!!

Here is wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas!! Please be safe in whatever you do. I don’t know if I’ll be back on here before the New Year but if I don’t…

……………..HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! May 2011 be all we hope and desire it to be!

*XOXO*