Positive Affirmations

Yes, I am a Christian and I believe in the bible and all of that good stuff but am I the only that feels silly chanting all the so called positive affirmations that some of these self-help books preach about? The whole “Speak positive things into the universe and the universe will bring you something good.”

I consider myself a ‘realist’ but some might say I’m an undercover pessimist [that word and Christian shouldn’t go together huh? lol]. Anyways, I call things around me as I see them especially as it concerns me [like there are few things you can 'yab' me about that i haven't already yabbed myself about]. I might be inclined to sugar-coat things for other people but not to myself. I know there is good in the world, I have been lucky enough to be a partaker in a lot of that good. I also know that there are good people in the world cos I have been lucky enough to be surrounded by a lot of good people, however...
The reason I say I’m a realist is that I usually always state the good and the bad of most situations…like I understand that things could go either way it’s just that I am often inclined to lean towards the negative side of things at the end of the day. I say it’s defense mechanism…if you expect the worst, you're not disappointed when it happens or you're pleasantly surprised if better happens. Its safe to expect bad…not much energy is needed for reinforcement.

This kind of thinking is crippling. I know that all too well. You never trust fully cos hey, they are human and can easily disappoint [this one is kinda weird cos we still get disappointed]. You are never really fully confident in yourself cos of all the ‘not-so-great’ expectations you have about life/yourself/people/your surroundings. You don’t try as hard as you could cos really what’s the point? OR you don't try as hard so that if you do fail you can chuck it up to ‘ah well, I didn’t try too hard anyways.’ You have a hard time accepting compliments cos you don't believe them or are too scared to believe them incase they are not true Etc etc

I’m sometimes envious of those who ALWAYS see the positive side of things and who always think positive [sometimes they are highly annoying like stfu pls!!]. I do believe in the power of words. As in, my head knows that the words I say are powerful and the more I speak it, the more I believe it, the more likely it is to happen. But does that stop my mouth from saying the crap? No!! Ah well, I’m a WIP.


*Muah*