Our Mistress

A Nigerian man and his wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she'll see him later and walks away.

His wife glares at him and says, "Who the hell was that?"

"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."

"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce."

"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it means that you don't get any more shopping trips to London, Paris or New York, no more Christmas abroad, no more weekend trips to South Africa or Dubai, no more Mercedes, Land Rover or BMW in the garage and no more Boat Club, Beach House or Ikoyi Club. But the decision is yours."

Just then, another Nigerian friend enters the restaurant with a younger gorgeous girl on his arm.

"Who's that woman with Chief?" asks the wife.

That's his mistress," says her husband.

Your mistress, I mean Ours is prettier," the wife replies.


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It’s true what they say: “Don’t go looking cause you’re bound to find something you don’t like…” or something like that...


“The truth is above our pay grade” – How do SOME lawyers sleep at night?? [I said some oh...no offense to the lawyers out there]


What the heck is going on with all these recalls? Toyota is recalling a bunch of stuff. Some crib maker is recalling a bunch of cribs…Human life ain’t worth much to manufactures anymore huh? God save us!!


So apparently that flu shot girl with all those crazy symptoms was FAKING it??? Imagine my disgust when I found out. Why will anyone crave attention to the extent of pulling such a stunt? The ish was well played out too!! Stupid wench!! I chopped hook, line, and sinker and felt sorry for her retarded ass…far-fetched as it was. She should get more than a slap on the wrist, IMO. Mscheww.


I tried to make fried rice with jasmine rice….buahaahha, turned out to be [possibly] the worst fried rice I’ve ever made. I don’t know if I should blame the rice or not but everything was just off…seasoning oh, rice texture oh…everything sha. SMH!!


I saw a vanity plate that read “I LV 2 B WU”…Awww


I’ve been told and have always known I talk fast but the other day someone actually made me feel bad about it. She said I talk like I’m hurrying the other person off the phone or shutting the other person up/down…I had no idea. Wonder how true that is.


Do you have friends you are intimidated by? I don’t think I do [or maybe I’m in denial?]…is that even healthy one way or the other?


It’s funny how we drink panadol for other peoples head ache. I saw a FB status the other day that had absolutely nothing to do with me but somehow it irked the hell outta me. SMH


Saw a guy on a plane ride listening to music* from a…………Walkman CD player!! I wanted to hi-five him. Lol!!


Only in a naija movie will a woman announce that she’s preggers and they all proceed to celebrate with liquor...just 'tarded.


Every second 28000 people are viewing porn online…lol wow!


Just about a year to the date one door closed on me, another one is about to be opened. Weird stuff.

“You cannot love God without loving yourself. A love and appreciation for God must become a love and appreciation for who He loves and who He loved enough to die for… If you are unwilling to accept you, how will you ever believe that God unconditionally does?” –True words!!

Thank You, Jesus!!

Happy Ash Wednesday to you all. Who is giving up what?

...I trust you all are well. Enjoy the rest of your week my good people

*XOXO*